


Bubble-gum that pops

by FanFicReader01



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossdressing, Ficlet, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, Internalized Transphobia, Oneshot, Secrets, nicholai is complicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: Nikolai's bubble of safety gets popped when Mikhail walks in on him while he's in a vulnerable situation.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Bubble-gum that pops

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece/Same setting as the prevoius fic _Dancing With A Stranger ___

It must be something past midnight when Mikhail suddenly jolts awake. He was dreaming but as his eyes get used to the darkness around him, the dream slowly fades away like smoke disperses and then disappears into thin air. All that he’s left with is the reminder of a document he forgot Nikolai to brief about earlier. Not falling asleep soon, the old soldier gets up from his bed and goes for a nightly visit to the bathroom. Maybe on his way back, he should pay Nikolai a visit. It wouldn’t be unusual to find the younger Russian still awake and busy. After Mikhail’s drunk from the sink and done his business, he walks through the dark corridors up to the other man’s quarters. As usual, the door is closed but underneath the crack, light shines through.

\--0--

For some, the night is long. For Nikolai, it is young and filled with potential. Unlike a few weeks ago, the Sergeant used the late hours to do extra paper work or train and workout, come up with new tactics purely for fun. But now, he uses his little spare time for rather odd activities that should never see the day of light. Tonight, for example, he is about to relish in the new dress he’s bought. Most of the time, he’s experimented with modern dresses. This one is different as its style dates way back to the 18th Century. An Empire dress to be more specific. Nikolai spreads out the white garment on his bed. It looks so smooth and comfortable to wear. Before he puts it on, he plans a quick trip to the bathroom. Once he gets back, he closes the door behind him and immediately walks over to the bed.

The soft fabric feels so welcoming in his contrasting, rough hands. Quickly he undoes himself of his simplistic shirt and pants. Still unexperienced with this type of dress, he shuffles into the garb. The whiteness matches his hair, he thinks. Though rather tight around his well-toned chest, overall the dress falls wide and loose everywhere else. Thin straps drape around his shoulders, leaving his arms bare. In the moment, he spins around and watches as the dress twirls along tightly. Somehow, it unlocks an otherwise deeply buried memory from his childhood. Bittersweet. _Young Nikolai standing in front of the mirror with the blankets of his parents’ bed draped all around him like a pretty dress._

He no longer remembers why or what drove him to do that but he knows it was and _is_ a sin. Men shouldn’t wear clothes that are meant for women. Even if men could look stunning in them, even if it would fit them. But in the secrecy of the night and his own room, Nikolai can pretend those social expectations and norms do not matter or even exist.

He looks down, his fingers sliding over the delicate material. He closes his eyes for a second in order to fully _feel_ the way the dress accommodates his bulky, unfit body. How it somehow makes him feel _innocent_ and _clean_ , even _whole_. He feels cradled in unusual comfort. Then his little dream world gets shattered by a familiar voice.

\--0--

Mikhail knocks thrice but gets no response. Slightly worried for his comrade, he tries open the door. Apparently Nikolai didn’t lock it.

“Nikolai, I-,” every intention, every reason Mikhail had to visit the stern soldier at this unholy hour of the day, escapes his mind when he encounters Nikolai like… _that._ Clad in a white night gown. The mental image just doesn’t connect in the Captain’s mind. It causes his brain to go haywire.

“ _Close the damn door_ ,” Nikolai snaps him out of his shock.

Mikhail hastily obeys and goes further than that and locks the door behind them. In the meantime, Nikolai has thud down on his bed. There’s nothing smug or intimidating about his posture or air. The Captain assumes this must be worst than being caught masturbating. But unsure on what to say, if he has to at all, the older Russian quietly walks over to the desk and sits down on the chair. Nikolai doesn’t _have_ to explain anything. But curiosity is killing him besides the incredibly awkward situation.

“You must think of me as a degenerate. A deviant, a pervert,” Nikolai turns his gaze away from him. It’s one of the super rare times to see the cold soldier _ashamed_ maybe even shy.

“Well… You have certainly surprised me,” Mikhail lets out a light-hearted but nervous chuckle.

“I’m _not_ a woman,” the younger merc hisses, now making ice cold eye-contact.

“Nobody is saying that. I just didn’t expect…this. But this doesn’t make you a deviant or a pervert,” Mikhail tries to pick his words carefully. If he isn’t attentive, the other soldier could turn into a bomb in no-time.

“Is it not fucked up to wear these…gowns?” Nikolai bites back. Mikhail wonders if the guy is trying to push him into saying things he wants to hear, even if those words are negative and harmful.

“Though I’d certainly not wear female clothing myself, it’s up to the individual to wear what they want,” the Captain slowly replies. His response is genuine, although he never gave it such clear thought as now. Nikolai darts him a doubtful harsh look. He doesn’t look satisfied with such simple answer.

“I’m not going to judge you, Nikolai, is all I’m saying.”

“You better not tell the others. It will ruin my reputation,” the taller merc grunts, barely able to hide his actual fear.

“My lips are sealed,” Mikhail promises and decides to keep his word.

“So what are you going to do now?” Nikolai wants to know. His fingers are nervously wrinkling his dress.

“I am going back to bed. Honestly, I forgot why I even came here. But rest assure, tomorrow I’ll remember why.” The Captain says as he gets up from the chair. Slowly he walks toward the door. For the final time he throws Nikolai a look. “IF I were you, I’d lock the door next time.”

“Usually I lock it,” the younger Russian huffs who now stands in front of him.

“You look quite brilliant,” Mikhail states as he quickly observes up close. He sheepishly smiles. “Good night, Nikolai.”

Then the taller soldier closes the door after the Captain and locks it tightly. Mikhail softly hums as he walks through the hallways back to his own place. That Nikolai, just when he thought he’d gotten a grasp of who he was, the fellow Russian manages to surprise him anew.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially, I thought of smut to happen lmao but no.  
> Talk only this time :')


End file.
